What to write...what to say...after a very hard couple of weeks I finally had a bit of reprieve. I went up to Grouse Mountain with a friend on Saturday and spent a wonderfully relaxing day. The company was fabulous, the scenery exquisite and the cold snow covered mountain seemed to calm some of the angst I have been experiencing! Top that with an amazing dinner and well...life suddenly seemed a bit more bearable.
Work is still a bit stressful but I can't change it and can only do what I can do sooooo....I just keep on plugging away at the work, come to terms with the fact that I will not be caught up for awhile and do my best to keep the books in that our customers want...hopefully the system will start working the way it supposed to, if it does I can see how we may eventually like it :)
This weekend I manged to injure my knee, it has bothered me before but never this bad. I am sporting a new brace that reminds Jordan of Robocop....thanks kid! Although it makes it easier to walk, there are very few articles of clothing that will fit over it...dang huh!! The drugs have helped to drop the swelling and the pain is bearable at the moment. One doctor says surgery, the second opinion says physiotherapy...I would love to not have the surgery so I guess some of my sedentary habits will have to change..
I am not enjoying this idea of getting older, seems to be depressing me a bit (no, not enough for drugs...just a bit of a pity party) I am so tired...I have been looking after my family for a very long time so when I finally get home I have little energy left for anything...this is part of the problem...I need to rearrange life to include more exercise, I know this can only happen if I start to get up at 5 am again, there just is no energy left at the end of the day. I am by nature a night owl, unfortunately with some of my life choices, that is not really an option so I must once again force myself to go to bed early and get up early and get off my lazy butt to move!! Nothing like pain to motivate!!
That is an update on my physical world but lets change gears for a moment....when I started write this blog, my thought (hope?) was to write something of significance, something that would be helpful or encouraging in some way....I am not sure that I have managed to do that...but as I reflect on the past few weeks I am seeing a pattern emerge. I am not sure this is the place to examine it so I will simply confess to seeing some things in my life that need to change. I need to spend some more time with God as well, I have been so busy that I see Him in passing but don't have a lot of time for coffee and reflection with Him...this needs to change, I am sure when it does some of the other things will fade away. As I took some time this morning Romans 8:18 & Luke 6:23 stood out....I see a theme and obviously need to look a bit more closely at it. This is one of the things that I read and it made me sad as perhaps I have been feeling this way deep down.
"Those who rebel against their suffering, however, are still hoping in here and now. Somewhere deep inside they (I?) had expected a better deal in this life and not yet invested their hopes in God's kingdom. They had an agenda for this life that didn't fit with His". ~Chris Tiegreen
As I read this I could not help but wonder, did I invest my all my hopes in God but forget that includes His Kingdom? Since we are not there at this moment, did I expect more of this life and subsequently appreciate less? Have I forgotten to jump for joy at what God is preparing and allowed myself to fall victim to the lies?? It is definitely worth contemplating...