I have spent a lot of time soul searching lately. What exactly is it that I want out of the life I have left (no, I am not dying).What will bring me happiness (other than my babies which bring me copious amounts of joy).
With so many changes over the past 4 years I have no longer been sure of what I want or who I am. . . it sounds so cliche that it bothers me and yet it is the best explanation I have.
I have spent much time searching so many different directions that I am afraid I have been unable to actually accomplish any of them.
So with that here is what I have decided and need to work toward over the next few months.
- Health- It is painfully obvious that I need to pay better attention to my eating habits and exercise. I would rather have energy and feel attractive than sluggish and icky.
- Mental- Apparently I have never been good at self care and often feel as though this is a selfish act but need to spend some time doing things for me. I would rather be immersed a life of gratitude and happiness than one of grumbling.
- Spiritual- Although I have started going to church again and know that I am blessed it is obvious that I need to spend more time in study. I would rather live feeling the depth of God's love than wondering if I am loved at all.
- Home- As my nest empties I must find the style that makes me comfortable and brings me joy. I would rather come home and smile with a feeling of lightness than feel overwhelmed by clutter.
So, it is time to leave my unhealthy habits, to embrace new activity, to spend time in study and come home to a space that provides me joy. I am finally finding the places that I would rather be !!
