Sunday, January 30, 2011

Makeover What?!?!?

Well I guess I need to journal this new challenge...

After writing the last post I went through a moment or two of dawned on me that I was no longer a mommy, yes always a mom but after 15 years I had done what I set out to do. I have raised my children to adulthood, they like me and I love them, it has been a successful journey that I am proud of but now it changes...I do not know what to do with that change. Up until now my life, my job, my choices have all centered around my kids. I would do it the same if I had the choice but now they have adult lives of their own and it is time to look at what I need to do for me....the thought is a wee bit scary. Anyway I digress, as I sat wondering what to do next I saw a facebook ad for a friends gym that was having a contest...a full makeover and in a moment of weakness I thought 'why not??' Image now my surprise when I made the top 20 which includes a 4 month gym membership and weight loss challenge! I am choosing to embrace it, it is time to make life a bit different and find some ways to lower stress levels while doing something for me so I am going for it!!

Along with the physical part of this challenge it is time to start dealing with some of the leftover emotional baggage that can plague me...I knew the day would come but I had other matters to take care of first and only had the energy for one thing at a time...I now find myself in a position where I am unable to push it off any longer...damn! I have no idea where this journey will take me, I am not sure if I am ready for it, I know I must move through it. This is one of the many times that I am grateful for my faith, I know this journey will have difficult moments, moments of pain and definite grief...I also know that God will sustain me, carry me and protect me throughout it.

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” "
~Exodus 14:13-14

Monday, January 24, 2011

A life of privilege!!

Wow the last week has been a whirlwind of for me is always busy but this week has been full of occasions that are worthy of documenting.

The week started out fairly normal, I finally felt as though I was getting ahead of the game at work. The last few months have been pretty stressful with our new system and it feels good to be getting a bit of a jump on it!! Tuesday was our monthly board meeting for Gallery 7, we looked forward to opening week of Tuesdays with Morrie, and of course more planning for the 2011 Gala. Wednesday was spent getting a baby cuddle from Hudson and catching up with my good friend Kim. I love these little visits and feel privileged to be able to continue this friendship outside of work. Then it was off to my token night shift. Once home, I spent the evening trying to finalize the graphics for G7 and finally got off to bed at 12:45.....the phone rang about 2:30 am....

Thursday was Aurora Noelle's birthday...I was privileged to be there to welcome here into the world ..I arrived at the hospital sometime after 4 (the times are a bit blurry) and joked that I had an 8am appointment so she had until 7:30, this of course was directed at the bulging tummy I have talked to for months...the midwife gave me a dirty look but such is life! The little muffin, with the help of her mommy listened quite well and made her appearance at 7:35 am. Upon looking at her perfect little face I realized it had taken less than a moment for me to fall in love again!! Then it was off to work, I made it there at 8:07 am, only a few minutes late for my meeting...her first day in the world and already quite considerate :)

Friday was opening night for Gallery 7 which included making a reception of hot hor d'oeveres and punch for 250 was successful and I was tired!!

Saturday was errands, then off to the theatre to do box office and then off to Finnegans. Recently I reconnected with my best friend from elementary school, her and her family were so important to me....I made some silly choices and our paths grew apart and then through this blog...go figure...she contacted me and I am so glad she did! Her brother in law has been diagnosed with melanoma and she asked if I would join her at a fundraiser...again I found myself feeling privileged!!

Sunday Jordan needed to be at church by 8 am so he could practice for worship...watching him play as the church worshipped again make me feel an overwhelming sense of privilege...God has been so gracious. Once home, I was off to Chilliwack with my very very good friend Cheryl, we simply needed to connect so with coffee in hand we left in search of the Bookman...we were able to catch up and I again thought how privileged I am to have such good friends who love me...

There are two themes this week...the most important is that God is gracious and kind, He has given me an incredible life of privilege. Thank you Lord for the people who love me, the people that I love and the extreme joy it gives me to be surrounded by them....the other theme, well I am tired!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy New Year?!?

Amazing that it has arrived so quickly. This past year has had a number of changes and I can not help but wonder what will be next. Some of them I am sure to enjoy, others I am not so sure of.

This is the year that my youngest child will start is hard to believe that time has passed so quickly, I am proud of the man he has become in spite of some of the challenges he has faced. His determination and discipline are a constant source of wonder...Sweetie you Rock!

This is the year that my oldest child has found the place he feels comfortable and fits in...Josh was just awarded a two year contract with BP Oil, a great opportunity for the future. It does my heart good to see that he has overcome so much strife in his life...Way to go Darlin, I am so proud of you!!

This is the year that my little girl has persevered and found a job she really loves....Tif is working at a specialist office at VGH. This job proves her training paid off and she has what it takes and the sacrifices she has made to be a good mom at a young age are paying off, never cease to amaze me baby girl and I am proud of what you have done!!

This is the year that I feel for the first time that my job as a mom is complete....yes I will always be their mom, I will always worry, I will always love them more than life, I will always want to spend time with them, they will always amuse me and make me proud....but today I feel like I have done my job and they will be OK, they will make their own choices and know that I will always be there if they need me....

That makes this the first year that I am not defined by my children, the first year that I will need to think about me instead of them, the first year that I will have to examine what the rest of my life, the first year that I have some time to examine the things I have and haven't done...

I start this year knowing that I am blessed....blessed by my children, my grandchild, my loved ones & my friends...blessed by a God who loves me deeply and though I have made many poor choices He has still given me much. Life has not been did not need to be, life has been full and I am I choose to start the year by ignoring may be wrong and dwelling on those things with which I know I am blessed!!