Monday, March 28, 2011

Guitars and new homes...

Ahhh, here I sit relaxing while Jack Johnson plays guitar in my living room....actually it is my talented young man playing but still it is one of my most favorite things to do.... I love listening to Jordan play any one of his guitars...he has a love and appreciation for music that makes me smile from the inside out, it is one of our greatest bonding fact we have decided that our next big date will consist of dinner and *RUSH* much as I sometimes hate that my babies are all growed up I must admit that I also love the experiences we can share now that they are all grown up!!

Tif called tonight and they got the house!! I am so excited for her, she has worked so hard the last 5 years. I am so very proud of her tenacity, never did she let the circumstances of life stop her from working toward her goal nor did she expect others to pay her way. Now she gets to move from a not so nice basement suite to a townhouse with a real kitchen and some space!! Looks like we have some painting to anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to paint...stress daughter has also caught that bug so her and I will have some bonding moments while filling holes and sprucing the new place up!!! will be a bit crazy if we both end up moving the same weekend (Stefan and Jordan will be some kind of tired), guess it is good for them that we have not yet found a place to call home...besides Tif has now called the first weekend of May which also happens to be the G7 Gala and Go Fusion Makeover Fashion Show....damn, we are all going to be tired...good thing we have until June before we have to be gone, sometimes I wonder if my crazy life is for real!!

Well this was not at all how I envisioned this post...what can I say, I love my babies and they always supersede all other thoughts....I was going to update you on my makeover challenge but there will be plenty of time for that tomorrow, until then my friends I will leave you with this seemingly appropriate quote:

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
~John Burroughs

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I really should do this more often...

So much going on these days and no time to sit and blog it...sheesh. Over the past month I have continued to work out with minute results (here is the picture for the whole world to see), I have said good bye to my very best friend (which is devastating to say the least), had a few slaps in the face from work (which I will get over in the end) , come down with yet another lung issue (that will teach me for abusing my body for so long) and spent an evening with my birthday girl Julie at Bon Jovi (SO much fun!!).

All this makes it a bit hard to focus on one thing since I have only a short window of time before I have to go and run the 5K Makeover Challenge Race (well, I am sick so I will probably walk 2.2 and call it a good attempt). I have learned much about myself these past weeks, things I suspected and some that have come out of left field and hit me up side the head! Fist I would like to point out that even during the high stress I call life, these past weeks have been awesome, I feel better than I ever have and am finally motivated to continue improving my health rather than obsessing about the weight...which is a good segway to the fact that I have a much lower self image than I ever imagined...there I admitted it! I did not realize that I had spent a good portion of my life hating me and then my body, kind of makes you go hmmm. When I was a size 8 and looked great, I was in a time where I did not like who I was very much. I finally took control of my life and became a much better person only to transfer that hate to my now not so perfect body. Funny (not ha ha ) how the things we hear can affect us for so very long.

Anyway..did not intend for this to be a depressing post, I wanted it to be one that is thankful for the support of those who love me without fail (I will blog about Granny B later who did that with amazing flare!) I wanted you to know that after 8 long weeks I have finally lost 5 pounds and a total of 14 inches and plan on continuing the journey. I still hate the way I look but I am starting to see it in a different light, I am now more concerned with how I feel...this is a step in the right direction!

More about Granny B & Bon Jovi to come!!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

♪ ♫ In the ghetto ♪

As I earnestly search for a new home, this Elvis song keeps playing over and over in my head...although I am not ready to admit defeat, I am also not having much luck at finding a place to call home. The bottom line is with exorbitant rental costs we will not be able to stay in an area anywhere close to what we have grown accustomed to.

Now please understand that it makes me sad but at the same time I feel gratitude...a long time ago when Gary & I separated I asked that God would allow me to stay in a safe and stable home until the kids finished school. He has honored that request and I have been able to keep the kids on the same street from Josh's grade 2 year to Jordan's graduation (21 years~ wow), not many single moms can say that and it was very important to me. Thank you God for your graciousness and for the village that helped me to raise my children with few incidents =) Now it is time to take a deep breath and move to a place that we can afford (there is that song again ♫)

I am also a bit down about this make over challenge, for 5 weeks I have worked out and eaten well to stay the same weight, thats right I gained the 2 pounds and am right back where I started from....damn!! Again I feel torn as I do feel better & less stressed, I am sleeping better and have more energy than I have had in a long time....I should be grateful but somehow the scale has become the sign of success and each day I struggle to overcome it and be happy with a healthy outcome. I am committed to continue so if you see me failing please feel free to kick my sorry behind.

Now for the moment of nostalgia....27 years ago my beautiful blue eyed baby boy was born. He entered the world very quickly and made me the envy of the other moms. I loved him from the very first moment, he was the most amazing baby , happy & content and slept through the night by the time he was 3 weeks old (scared the crap out of me the first time). Today he is a man who has overcome much hardship and I am very proud of the person he has become!! I love you Josh and can hardly believe how quickly those precious moments turned to years. Happy Birthday Baby!!!