Next step....

It is hard to believe that it is June already. As I sit here with my morning coffee I can not help but contemplate the many changes of the past year and wonder what the next one will hold. I know the average person considers December the end of the year but for me (must be the years of retail) I always consider it to be June. 

This past year, you followed me on a journey that I could not elaborate on too much for fear of involving the innocent ☺
Thank you for the support as I delved into my past and some of the feelings that followed me from that. A couple of weeks ago I graduated from the course I was taking which means it is time to take the next step. As you know two years ago I entered a makeover contest, it was the catalyst that started me on a journey of healing and personal health. The contest helped me look at my attitude towards myself I saw the need for some change. Then I took a course that would take me into some of the painful corners of my life that I could no longer ignore...and now

Well now, now it is my year of physical health! I am tired of being tired!! I have spent the last two weeks preparing for yet another lifestyle change. I started doing more walking, and I shall change my eating habits. It seems that my thyroid is 'dysfunctional' (kind of funny if you ask me) so I will try to naturally jump start it. As most of you know Jordan is a type 1 Diabetic, this means that we eat very healthy...I changed the way I cooked once he was diagnosed and yet somehow I have still remained grossly overweight. This leads me to the hardest part, it seems that I will also need to take wheat out of my diet, since I LOVE bread, this will be a bit of an issue. I have no doubt that it will be difficult to give up and there may be moments where it may be dangerous to be in the same room as me but I am determined...which is one reason I share this with you.

I am committed to being healthy.....to being able to play with my gorgeous grandson, to feeling good about the person that God created me to be!! This week I will commit the following verse to memory:

 "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.
 And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."
1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

A measure of success.

How do we measure success? This is a question that has come up a few times as of late and it got me wondering....I know how to define professional success but how do I measure personal success?

May is always a busy month for me, I will share a couple of the events that I was helping plan. At the beginning of the month I was involved in a fund-raising event for Gallery 7, a local theatre that I love. At the last minute we had to change the format and although I was excited about the prospect in the end we did not meet our financial goals. Does this mean it was unsuccessful? Not at all, in the end we found that it was less work, less stressful and more fun!! With some work and some tweaking we can make this event much better next year....so yes, it was successful!

Then this weekend I spent 36 hours at History Makers, a local youth event that hosts about 3,500 teens. This is the third year I have been involved in this weekend and although it is a TON of work I love doing it. After all was said and done I was asked, was it successful?? I can't go into the financial side of it but what if I simply look at the teens that I met, interacted with and heard about? One young man was brought up in a satanic home, he was thrilled to purchase a t-shirt that read "God's got your back" and his leader felt he was ready to commit to living a Christ filled life; a young girl whose bible of 8 years was devastated that it was falling apart, it was an older bible that was no longer in print...if only I could describe the sheer joy on her face when I went to the store and found an old leather bible that matched her beloved tattered paperback; the young girl who was finally gaining some independence and making friends; the young man who had attended the last 3 years and greeted us like old friends; thousands of teens in a worship concert with hands raised, praising God....I could go on and  I should because yes, it was successful!!

That leads me to wonder how do we measure personal success? In order to measure our personal success, we have to be able to look past how much money or power we have gained. Personal success is also marked by examining spiritual growth, emotional growth and attitude towards life. As I make a mental list of all that I have accomplished these past 20 years I can see what I deem successes and failures. As I make an inventory of them I wonder what does God think? How would he measure my success?  

As I started to search the bible I am thrilled to find answers...starting with King David as he spoke to Solomon, "Observe the requirements of the LORD your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go." 1 Kings 2:3. I continued to search and find more than 20 references to success (not exhausted at all) and I can take comfort...my success is measured by the Lord.

Quest for...

What do you do when you realize a month has passed and you have accomplished little?? Sit down and blog about it?? I feel the need to publicly admit that I sometimes have periods of little or no discipline...apparently this is one of those times. Although the past month has been busy and full of surprises, mostly think I have just been lazy. A few weeks ago I  hit a milestone, one that I knew was well on its way, in fact many of you have accompanied me as I journeyed to this place. I have hit the point in my life where all my kids are grown, doing well and not in need of constant mothering. This was solidified with Jordan introducing his girlfriend to the family....yup, my baby is dating a wonderful girl whom we like very much!!

Now the question is what does that mean for my life....it means I need to re-evaluate what I want to accomplish in this next phase, unfortunately that is always easier said than done! It means that some of my 'mantras' of years past are no longer valid and I have to form new ones.  It means I have done my job and will take a moment or two breath and thank God for without his intervention and grace I am sure that our family would not be where we are. At the beginning of the journey it meant being scared, now it means being thankful!!

Yesterday I read Steven James new book Quest for Celestia,  the retelling of The Pilgrims Progress. Interesting fact, Bunyan's book was thought to be the best selling book other than the Bible for over 200 years...I cannot help that I like that sort of trivia, anyway now I digress... I never could quite get into the original story, but as I read this version I became engrossed in the journey and the characters. I cringed as they discovered their disease, I followed as they faced danger and scant moments of reprieve, I was thrilled when Kadin & Leira finally make it to Celestia.  At the end of the journey, Kadin "remembered questioning Gaius about the goodness of the King in contrast to the suffering we'd experienced in our travels, and now realized that pain is part of the journey. The King loved me enough to pursue me even when I did not he was there."  As I read I thought perhaps that is my answer, God has loved me enough to bring me through many years of pain....perhaps now is the time for me to pursue the King.

"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
   but he will heal us;
he has injured us
   but he will bind up our wounds." 

Hosea 6:1