A measure of success.

How do we measure success? This is a question that has come up a few times as of late and it got me wondering....I know how to define professional success but how do I measure personal success?

May is always a busy month for me, I will share a couple of the events that I was helping plan. At the beginning of the month I was involved in a fund-raising event for Gallery 7, a local theatre that I love. At the last minute we had to change the format and although I was excited about the prospect in the end we did not meet our financial goals. Does this mean it was unsuccessful? Not at all, in the end we found that it was less work, less stressful and more fun!! With some work and some tweaking we can make this event much better next year....so yes, it was successful!

Then this weekend I spent 36 hours at History Makers, a local youth event that hosts about 3,500 teens. This is the third year I have been involved in this weekend and although it is a TON of work I love doing it. After all was said and done I was asked, was it successful?? I can't go into the financial side of it but what if I simply look at the teens that I met, interacted with and heard about? One young man was brought up in a satanic home, he was thrilled to purchase a t-shirt that read "God's got your back" and his leader felt he was ready to commit to living a Christ filled life; a young girl whose bible of 8 years was devastated that it was falling apart, it was an older bible that was no longer in print...if only I could describe the sheer joy on her face when I went to the store and found an old leather bible that matched her beloved tattered paperback; the young girl who was finally gaining some independence and making friends; the young man who had attended the last 3 years and greeted us like old friends; thousands of teens in a worship concert with hands raised, praising God....I could go on and  I should because yes, it was successful!!

That leads me to wonder how do we measure personal success? In order to measure our personal success, we have to be able to look past how much money or power we have gained. Personal success is also marked by examining spiritual growth, emotional growth and attitude towards life. As I make a mental list of all that I have accomplished these past 20 years I can see what I deem successes and failures. As I make an inventory of them I wonder what does God think? How would he measure my success?  

As I started to search the bible I am thrilled to find answers...starting with King David as he spoke to Solomon, "Observe the requirements of the LORD your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go." 1 Kings 2:3. I continued to search and find more than 20 references to success (not exhausted at all) and I can take comfort...my success is measured by the Lord.

Quest for...

What do you do when you realize a month has passed and you have accomplished little?? Sit down and blog about it?? I feel the need to publicly admit that I sometimes have periods of little or no discipline...apparently this is one of those times. Although the past month has been busy and full of surprises, mostly think I have just been lazy. A few weeks ago I  hit a milestone, one that I knew was well on its way, in fact many of you have accompanied me as I journeyed to this place. I have hit the point in my life where all my kids are grown, doing well and not in need of constant mothering. This was solidified with Jordan introducing his girlfriend to the family....yup, my baby is dating a wonderful girl whom we like very much!!

Now the question is what does that mean for my life....it means I need to re-evaluate what I want to accomplish in this next phase, unfortunately that is always easier said than done! It means that some of my 'mantras' of years past are no longer valid and I have to form new ones.  It means I have done my job and will take a moment or two breath and thank God for without his intervention and grace I am sure that our family would not be where we are. At the beginning of the journey it meant being scared, now it means being thankful!!

Yesterday I read Steven James new book Quest for Celestia,  the retelling of The Pilgrims Progress. Interesting fact, Bunyan's book was thought to be the best selling book other than the Bible for over 200 years...I cannot help that I like that sort of trivia, anyway now I digress... I never could quite get into the original story, but as I read this version I became engrossed in the journey and the characters. I cringed as they discovered their disease, I followed as they faced danger and scant moments of reprieve, I was thrilled when Kadin & Leira finally make it to Celestia.  At the end of the journey, Kadin "remembered questioning Gaius about the goodness of the King in contrast to the suffering we'd experienced in our travels, and now realized that pain is part of the journey. The King loved me enough to pursue me even when I did not he was there."  As I read I thought perhaps that is my answer, God has loved me enough to bring me through many years of pain....perhaps now is the time for me to pursue the King.

"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
   but he will heal us;
he has injured us
   but he will bind up our wounds." 

Hosea 6:1

a lazy day....and its good!

I awoke to what I hoped was going to be a beautiful day....then I realized it was snowing again!! Now I love the snow but for the record, it is March and I live on the coast, the crocus's have poked out already and this white stuff is messing with us!!

Despite the weather, I got up, made coffee, started laundry and wondered what to do next...ok, confession of the day .... I have learned to enjoy 'lazy'. I know what I should be doing but what I end up doing may be a completely different story. This love for doing nothing started over Christmas, I was told  I needed to rest & for the first time in a VERY long time I did just that...and I liked it!! Now when Saturday arrives....well, I wish I could wiggle my nose, have all the housework and errands done so that I can pick up a new book and read until bedtime.

 Which brings me to this morning's dilemma...to clean, to read, to study, to workout?? How about write a quick post instead...it is doing something while still getting to sit in my comfy chair with my coffee and my feet up...I will find balance, I will indeed do the laundry and clean the house, I may even bake Jordan some healthy muffins for the week...but I will also rest, I will pull out some books and read.

Speaking of  reading, I am reading  "Grace for the Good Girl" by Emily Freeman again, I rarely do this but am sure I missed important stuff as I quickly read through it the first time. This is an incredible book that talks about letting go, chapter 7 is called 'Falling apart: hiding behind strength and responsibility'.  I have spent my life feeling responsible; responsible for good grades, helping my mom with my siblings, filling gaps, keeping my marriage together, my kids, a clean house, paying bills, did I say my kids...the list is so long that I only wrote the obvious ones. Being responsible is a good thing, we are called to be good stewards but hiding behind a mask of strength & responsibility is not. The following thought resonated with me so I will share it: 

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise:
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
1 Corinthians 1:27

Freeman writes that it seems backwards to her, that she would have done it differently (me too I must admit)...but that is the way of Jesus....that His grace is enough and that our weakness is ultimately a pathway to experiencing His strength. 'Weak' is not necessarily the bad 4-letter word I have always thought it to be...that hiding behind that mask of responsibility is not only exhausting but it ultimately portrays that we have it all together, that we can handle our messes and we don't need anyone...but far worse that we do not need God. That is not what I want to portray, that is not truth...for the truth is without God I would have crumbled many years ago.