It has been months since my last post and I am afraid that in many ways I must admit defeat in my effort to restore. . . yet, in some ways I have succeeded.
... I have managed to read much more than I had been and to date have completed 18 of the books on my list and a few that weren't.
....I have gotten my blood pressure to a normal and healthy level.
....I have gotten my apnea tested and seem to have found a solution to my lack of sleep, for now I am getting 4-6 solid hours a night and feel much better.
Although I have not lost weight, solved my car issue or figured out how to live as an empty nester each day dawns, each day ends and I am still standing.
I have come to the realization that the last 5 years came and hit me so hard that some days I wondered if I would ever recover. Last week sat and wrote a list of the many things that had happened, changed and hurt over the past years, seeing it made me realize that although I have felt defeated I am not.
I am still standing!
During the years of craziness assumed I was coping well, being strong but I have come to understand that my 'coping' did not allow me to grieve, although it was certainly God holding me up (again), it did not allow me to rest in Him and let Him be my stronghold.So, for the very first time in years I will wait quietly, I will accept my victory, I will spend time in my fortress and I will NOT be shaken!
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