Seaweed sandwich...

Yup, a seaweed sandwich!

That is an apt description of how I feel lately. It has been a long time since writing and there are many reasons for that, I am sure that I will elaborate soon but for now there is still much to formulate about the journey that I have been on. So much of my healing involves stories that are not mine to tell so I have hesitated to try and put it into words....although I need to be careful about what I share I have also come to realize that putting it off  is one of my coping skills...avoidance.

When life is busy and full I prioritize....and grieving the losses and mistakes in my life has NOT been a priority, right or wrong I push it off and move on with more 'pressing' matters. This week I have thought of Jonah often...I believe there is a reason for that. Much like Jonah I have tried to hide from what I know needs to happen and find myself upset over the loss of my 'thistle'...sad but true. 

So I have found myself inside a large fish...

¹Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the belly of the fish, ²saying,
    "I called out to the LORD, out of my distress,
   and he answered me;
out of the belly of Sheol I cried,
    and you heard my voice.

...it is time to continue on, pick off the seaweed and continue on to Ninevah

⁹ But I with the voice of thanksgiving
   will sacrifice to you;
what I have vowed I will pay.
    Salvation belongs to the LORD!" (Jonah 2 ESV)

...and pray that I will not mourn the loss of a thistle but rejoice God's mercy.